When a mental illness affects so many people, education and awareness is vital. There are many different types and subtypes of Obsessive Compusive Disorder, but a common yet invisible one is rarely talked about.
What is Pure-O?
Pure O is a type of OCD. It stands for "Pure obsessional", meaning that the obsessions and compulsions are mental, and only exist in the sufferers head. This could mean that a sufferer of Pure-O OCD can spend hours daily reassuring themselves that their obsessions won't become a reality-or in my case, completely rituals mentally.
At the height of my OCD before diagnosis, I would be completing mental (and physical) rituals up to eight times every minute of every single day I was awake. Repeating phrases of reassurance over and over, counting everything over and over again. Ordering numbers and words in my head, I was exhausted.
I was completely drained and utterly exhausted, but how does someone without any knowledge of OCD or what it is ever find out what Pure-O is? Realistically, they rarely do. Chances are, unless you know someone with OCD or have to study the disorder, the most you'd know about it are a bunch of jokes about cleaning or quietly wondering if you have OCD, whilst sorting some clothes or food into separate colours. Pure-O, or the Obsessive part of OCD in general, rarely ever comes up in any conversations about OCD in non-sufferers.
There are so many things I wish people knew about OCD, mostly because if I knew what it was I wouldn't have had to spend 11 years of my life suffering and not knowing why, but also because I'm sick of my mental illness being the butt of so many jokes. I never knew about Pure-O without specifically researching it, and I even know people with OCD themselves that don't know what Pure-O is and how it affects people.
The thing that makes being a pure obsessional OCD sufferer is that it is mostly invisible. The anxiety is there, the obsessions and fears are there too-but the ritualistic behaviours can't be seen.
When I finally came to being diagnosis, I had reached the point where my OCD was diagnosed as severe-my illness was debilitating, time consuming and exhausting. But unless you were my partner, you'd never know.
I could carry out my rituals brought on by intense anxiety thousands of times a day. Repeating phrases, ordering and reordering numbers, reassuring myself my thoughts weren't going to become a reality as long as I drained myself with rituals. My OCD was thriving, but nobody ever knew.
It can be incredibly hard to spot the signs of Pure-O OCD in people, because it is so easily hidden. But just because it's barely visible, doesn't make it any less awful than any other type or subtype of the disorder. Watching out for visible compulsions can be a good place to start, but there are many things you can do to help someone you may suspect of having OCD.
Realising OCD isn't about being a neat freak perfectionist is the best place to start. Researching OCD and it's different forms and types can be a great way of educating yourselves, as well as maybe speaking to other sufferers, or joining a support group.
Getting to know the sufferers worries will be a huge step in helping them, as well as educating yourself to see that OCD differs between each sufferer, as do rituals. It's nice to know that you're not facing OCD alone, which starts to take away the invisibility of Pure-O.
It's important to realise in those sufferers that have intrusive thoughts about harming someone (harm OCD), that they will not harm someone. It is just a worry, and OCD has a habit of trying to destroy the things we love the most. Whether it's a partner, child, friend or stranger, the sufferer is not going to hurt them. Remember-it's a mental illness. Though the thoughts are very very real, it's just an obsession, not a plan.
"Nobody should have to suffer from an invisible illness, especially one that's so destructive, and already has such a huge stigma of being just a personality quirk. It's exhausting and miserable."
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